Based on the description you have provided, your behavior does not necessarily seem outside the norm. When people are dating, they are trying to find a match. Both people tend to be on their very best behavior. When you first meet someone new, you’re trying to learn everything you can about them. That takes time. Once you realize they’re not for you, you end it. It would be odd to stay with someone with whom you are not a match.
You didn’t elaborate on how you end these relationships and that might be the problem. I would need more information about the manner in which you end these relationships to determine if it is a problem.
I’m not certain that I fully understand your example of “gaslighting.” Gaslighting, as I understand it, is essentially manipulating someone into believing something that isn’t true. In your example, you “call out” people as liars, who are not guilty of lying. That type of behavior will most certainly cause you to lose relationships. Not many people are willing to tolerate that type of abuse.
If you want an objective evaluation of how you behave in relationships, then try counseling. The therapist will analyze your relationships and determine if there is a problem. The fact that people repeatedly tell you that your behavior is problematic would suggest that you are the common denominator and thus may be the source of the problem but you need an objective opinion. I don’t have enough information to give you that objective opinion. Counseling is the solution. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle