Thank you for having the courage to acknowledge this pain and discomfort. I believe it takes a high degree of bravery to identify and want to change the things that are distressing to us.
Your mother’s alcoholism, poor parenting, and inability to protect you, along with the early sexual and physical traumas, are likely to be a significant source of your thoughts, feelings and reactions.
You have taken a tremendous step forward by writing us here and I would encourage you to find a way to get an appointment with a therapist. If there is a direct way to do this — like telling a guidance counselor at school that you are having problems at home and would like their help in setting up an appointment — I would do that. If that isn’t possible, I’d arrange for you to see your physician and tell him or her about how difficult it is with your mother. This will help the physician help you get the therapy.
Finally, I would also contact the local counseling centers near you that offer services to teenagers directly. Here is a list of those near you that can point you in the right direction: http://www.compassioncounseling.org/resources.php.
You have taken the first step here. I’d now take the next step in dealing with these issues more directly.