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My Boyfriend Made Out with Me While He Thought I Was Asleep

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I’d been seeing this guy for maybe two weeks and I hadn’t ever kissed anyone before him. he kissed me and that was all fine but then later when I was half asleep he just wouldn’t stop touching and trying to make out with me. I told him that was enough and he’d stop for a bit but then just keep doing it. it made me feel uncomfortable so in the end I just lay there and pretended to be asleep. Over the next few days I kind of brushed the whole thing off saying that he only did it because he liked me but after a while I realized I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. I broke up with him a while ago now but I still think about it all the time and it makes me feel sick and really embarrassed. I feel like I can’t be in another relationship because the very idea of kissing someone makes me remember what happened. But at the same time, I feel like I’m over reacting and the only reason I felt uncomfortable is because I’m so frigid. I just don’t know what to think about the whole thing and I don’t want it to ruin my chance at new relationships. I currently find it hard to see myself being happy in a relationship and I don’t know what to do. Please help! (From Australia)

My Boyfriend Made Out with Me While He Thought I Was Asleep

Answered by on -


My best guess is that what is most troubling is you not responding and pretending to be asleep. Putting the focus on him rather than on your reaction is likely to be where the discomfort is. I would recommend you talk to a therapist about this reaction as it is likely to be closer to the source of your discomfort.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Boyfriend Made Out with Me While He Thought I Was Asleep

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Boyfriend Made Out with Me While He Thought I Was Asleep. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 20 Jun 2017)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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