Yes. You should seek help. You are in your 50s and you say this has been going on since adolescence. If you could fix it yourself, you would have done so long ago.
My guess is that sometime long ago you came to the conclusion that in order to be good enough, you have to be perfect. When you make a mistake or something goes wrong, you have little to no ability to separate the mistake from your belief in your own worth.
A letter doesn’t give me enough information to be able to figure out how and why this got started. I can only tell you that I’ve seen many (mostly) men with this problem and it has its roots in unrealistic expectations, low self-esteem and insufficient role modeling for problem-solving.
A counselor can help you get to the root of your version of the problem and will help you reconsider your childhood conclusion that to have any human flaw is to be unacceptable. You will also get some coaching in anger management and problem-solving.
I think 40+ years of this distressing behavior is long enough, don’t you. Please get yourself a counselor and make the next 40 years happier ones.
I wish you well.