I am a woman with an interest in discovering what is “wrong” with me. While I personally believe myself to be a relatively pleasant individual, the years of being accused of being strange have rendered me curious regarding the state of my mental health.
For example, I lack the capability to feel a wide range of emotions like the rest of those I know. This has led to a loss of friendships, since I often grow frustrated with the emotional dependency and drama that comes with maintaining a relationship. Family wise, my relatives continuously remind me that I am callous and emotionally unavailable. Of course, I respond to their proclamations of love toward me since it is socially required. It validates their feelings and makes them feel the giddiness of affection, something which I have yet to truly understand.
I am quite amiable for the most part. It is beneficial in the long run, since it allows me to go through life with few problems. Amiability with classmates = the ability to request notes and glean information from missed classes. Amiability in the workplace = no drama, help when you require it, and positive references when you leave. And yes, the Golden Rule does play a part here. I do realize that people should be treated with respect. However, I can readily admit that I don’t feel this human connection that everyone talks about. I don’t feel anything toward any of these random people I interact with on a daily basis, and their attempts at befriending me do little more than make me question their true intentions.
Also, I have yet to be in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex considering they often misunderstand me. I have considered marriage since a second source of income would provide increased comfort. But as far as romance goes, I have no interest whatsoever. The problem is, most men desire that interest.
I could continue, but I assume that these few paragraphs provide an ample amount of data. Are these qualities indicative of a potential problem, or would you consider this a matter of personality?
Thank you for your time. (From the USA)