It sounds to me like you are working on developing trust with your therapist. You both do and don’t want help. That’s normal. Most people both want to change and are scared to change. Most people go through a period of testing out their therapist to make sure the therapist can hear their fears without judgment.
Therapists don’t want you to become dependent. They do want you to become a collaborator in your treatment. It sounds to me like you are working yourself up to that point.
If you’d like to move things along, I do suggest you share your letter with your therapist. The two of you can then talk about the pace of treatment you need in order to feel safe.
I wish you well.