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My Wife Leaving Me and Child

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Eight years ago I fell in love with this beautiful young girl and after 4 years dating we got married and after 4 years of marriage we were blessed with a beautiful young girl. After living in UK, she decided we must move back to our home country because she said that her parents are old and if anything happens to them she could not forgive her self and because I love my wife so much I agreed but this is where the nightmare began. We faced some problems in the UK specially financially but we where happy—but with my bad luck I was diagnosed   with epilepsy and that started problems that she accused me of having this problem since I was a kid that I have lied to her (I swear I never had a problem) and then after birth she kept saying she has depression which she went to the doctors  and was receiving treatment but she didn’t finish the treatment and promised when we go back to our home country  she will continue which she never followed, after only 3 months of going back suddenly after no where she asked me for a divorce which rocked my whole world I couldn’t believe.   This is the same person I fell in love with she asked lets go  to therapy which we did, after the therapy  she said I want to give our marriage another chance but after speaking to her father and mother she came back and said nope I don’t want it anymore then I found email to her therapist  saying she can’t go on anymore and even she mentioned when of her old boyfriends (which brought any excuses not to be with her ) and left her .

She kept saying she wants a divorce she wants a divorce I followed one of your videos which explains about midlife crisis  that I shouldn’t hover over her and the more I insist it might  get worst because I loved her so much and I felt with my gone she will realize what she is missing.

However after the divorce she left me and her 1 year old baby alone  ,she kept calling me and saying a lot of hurtful  stuff that I never loved you and that I never wanted a baby she is blaming me for everything then she calls and says I did love you that’s why I had baby am sorry for everything you’re the best and nobody can do what you did for me even if they try a 100 years  you’re the best I don’t know what’s wrong with me ,than a week later she called me and repeated  all the hurtful things again.

Before the divorce she  kept saying we have to hang out me you and our daughter  but after the divorce she didn’t even come and see her child (ava)

After the divorce she has lost of lot of weight and keeps putting so much emotional quotes  she kept calling my mother and crying so much and calling ava but was not willing to come and visit ava at all .

Long story short I could have been a better husband I begged her I want down on my knees but the answer was no ,recently her mother called my aunt and was crying that my daughter is not happy and until the day I die I will ask her to go back to ava via her friend (the same person that backed her up to get an divorce )

I swear I can’t believe this is the person I married the person who loved ava so much that didn’t leave her side even for second the same loving caring person who did anything for us and we did everything for her and she knows that very well ,she kept telling my mother I don’t want anyone in my life if I want to date someone who better. but when she tells me she says stuff to hurt me like who do you think you are? I will never come back to you? you fooled me with your kindness to marry me.   At the start, she said we have lot of problem but one year after the divorce she told my mother now I can see me and didn’t have any problems.

I am broken into small pieces my daughter ask for her mother but she is not willing to see her I just can’t believe what happened. All I know this is not the person I married. Is she sick ??

I love her so much I want her back but I don’t want to insist on something that she might hate more please help me please—please. (From England)

My Wife Leaving Me and Child

Answered by on -

A.

 I am sorry you are going through such a horrific time. How difficult it must be to have been to be so much in love, and now to have all these confusing, hurtful feelings. Of course, it is not possible for me to diagnose someone that I haven’t met — but let’s look at the facts about your ex:

  • She accused you of having a disorder from childhood even though this wasn’t true.
  • She was diagnosed with depression.
  • She began and stopped treatment for depression.
  • She stopped couple’s therapy with you.
  • You found an email where she is talking about her old boyfriend.
  • She divorced you.
  • She abandoned her daughter.

With all this my best advice is that it is time to move on and stop looking for the woman you married. She is gone — and there isn’t any evidence she is coming back.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

 

My Wife Leaving Me and Child

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Wife Leaving Me and Child. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/06/10/my-wife-leaving-me-and-child/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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