Lately, I’ve been feeling down, and lost. I’ve been studying really hard the past few months to graduate and after graduate I still need to study to get into university. But, I feel so tired of studying and just feeling lost and worthless. I can’t find any motivation, I even lost interest in my hobby and passion (drawing). I even haven’t draw for about two weeks and I used to draw almost everyday.
Somedays, I felt so sad that I start crying without knowing why. My mind starts telling me bad things like I’m so worthless, I’m going to fail, I won’t make my parents happy, and I’m nothing compared to my friends. I even skipped my courses class and when my school friend’s dad looking at me when I’m going somewhere (we’re neighbor) my mind starts saying that he’s underestimating me. I’m starting to think that everyone’s think that I’m stupid.
When I feel really down, sometimes I start to take blunt things like pencil and stab it into my arm until it left bruises. I’ve take a depression quiz in this site and it says I have severe depression. What is happening to me? I don’t want to have these thoughts and come back from feeling lost. Thank you for responding. (From Indonesia)