Sometimes, people repress traumatic memories. It’s possible that something did happen with your teacher and you don’t remember it. That might explain why you panic when in their presence.
However, repressed memories are difficult and in some cases impossible to verify. The latest research into human memory suggests that it is very fallible. In other words, our memories can be unreliable and distorted. People can think that they remember things that actually did not happen. Innocent people have spent decades in prison because of false memories.
It is fruitless to spend energy on attempting to remember a potentially traumatic event that may or may not have happened. Your efforts would be better spent on treatment for your depression and anxiety. You are suffering on a day-to-day basis. That need not be the case. Your symptoms are highly treatable. I would recommend finding a local mental health professional who can help. Choose a professional who specializes in trauma. They would be in the best position to help you. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle