It sounds to me that the job is the problem. Instead of thinking about killing yourself, why not consider a significant job change? It might take time. It might take retooling. It might take some schooling. But setting a goal for a satisfying career and starting to work on it will be more helpful to your general emotional state than staying stuck and annoyed.
We spend at least a third of our life at work. That’s a lot of time to spend being bored and angry. Use your off-work time to start positioning yourself for a job that will let you be creative and see the world.
Yes, such jobs are out there. Meanwhile, use whatever vacation time you have to go somewhere, anywhere, that is different and adventuresome. Only you can make choices that will leave you free of regrets. If you can’t get yourself motivated to help yourself, please consider seeing a therapist to help you kickstart a new direction.
I wish you well.