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I Have Depression and Anxiety and Need Quiet But My Husband Won’t Help Me

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I have depression and anxiety and quiet helps a lot. I ask my husband when he’s home to please be quiet when I’m not feeling well. But he just argues with me and says he’s not making noise. Noise really affects my nerves badly by the 5th time asking him to please be quiet I feel like I’ve lost my mind. He knows how much it bothers me. I really need some suggestions on how to get him to help me out. By the end of the argument I usually tell him to get out of the house for a while. cause I can’t stand it. I’ve explained to him how much it affects me and don’t understand why he would keep doing it. He says he loves me and I know I love him but this problem needs a solution and I can’t find one. (From Canada)

I Have Depression and Anxiety and Need Quiet But My Husband Won’t Help Me

Answered by on -

A.

 I can appreciate how difficult it must be to struggle with the need for quiet — however, there needs to be a balance between your needs and your husband’s. I would make two recommendations. First, if you haven’t gone for an evaluation for your depression and anxiety, I would make an appointment with a psychiatrist to start dealing with the profound need for quiet. Secondly, I would encourage you to find a couple’s therapist to talk about how to negotiate your husband’s needs and yours so that you may co-exist more peacefully. The find help tab at the top of the page can help you find someone in your area. Demanding him to be quiet isn’t working — and not likely to be a resolution.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Have Depression and Anxiety and Need Quiet But My Husband Won’t Help Me

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Have Depression and Anxiety and Need Quiet But My Husband Won’t Help Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 16, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/05/29/i-have-depression-and-anxiety-and-need-quiet-but-my-husband-wont-help-me/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.