It is important to tell your therapist about how you feel. If you can’t say it face-to-face, then write it in a letter. You wrote us a letter here at Psych Central. You can just as easily write your therapist a letter or give her this one. Your treatment might improve if she knew what was wrong. She may be treating the wrong symptoms because she doesn’t have all of the facts.
You might fear that she’s going to judge you but therapists would not do that. Their job is to help people with whatever is wrong. Therapists want to help and are used to hearing about many types of problems. What you reveal will not be shocking. It will help her to know how to help you. It’s the first and fundamental step in getting better.
You mentioned feeling suicidal. Thoughts of suicide are indicative of immense suffering. This cannot be ignored. I’ve seen many people overcome these types of problems and you can too. But it begins with you revealing the scope of the problem to your therapist. Utilize the help that is available to you. Call the authorities if you are in danger of harming yourself. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle