Yes, of course there is hope for you. People are amazingly resilient. Recovery should be expected. Be patient and don’t give up. Your situation can improve.
One of my favorite books is Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It’s a good book for a variety of reasons but most importantly because it demonstrates the power of resiliency and how to find meaning in the worst of all circumstances. Frankl was a prisoner during the Holocaust and was almost killed. Despite living through one of the worst tragedies in human history, he came out an optimist.
He counseled many people in the concentration camps. Some of his fellow prisoners were abysmally depressed and suicidal because of the near hell in which they lived but Frankl gave them hope, despite their circumstances. I believe his book will change the way you view your life and circumstances. Anecdotally, it has helped many people with depression. It provides concrete ideas and tools for overcoming suffering. It is a one-of-a-kind book, and I would highly recommend it.
You stated that you are in counseling. You have had traumatic events occur in your life and are still reliving some of those traumas. You might benefit from consulting a therapist who specializes in trauma. It might serve as a good adjunct to your current treatment.
In addition, you might also benefit from medication. It might help you to feel less “on edge.” It is exhausting to feel as though you are going to “burst.” It is important to relax. Exercise, meditation and so forth, could all be helpful. There are many ways to decrease your stress levels. Ask your therapist to assist you.
With full sincerity, I most certainly believe there is hope for you. As an experienced professional, I have seen many people overcome psychological problems and live joyful lives. It’s often a matter of finding the right treatment. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle