OK. I started with depression in my late teens. It only worsened over the years despite ongoing treatment with antidepressants. Nothing has resolved my depression. I have been diagnosed with bipolar. I have very bad anxiety and frequent panic attacks. It has become so bad that I do not leave my house. I do not want to be around people, and if I have to it usually triggers a panic attack. I am on lexapro, lithium, xanax, seroquel, and because I can’t sleep ambien. Although these meds get me through my days, they do not solve my anxiety, social phobia, and my depression is worse. I feel I am useless to my kids or my husband because of the psychological problems I cannot be normal. I cannot hold down a job. I have been treated since 2001 and nothing has worked. The fear I have of going out in public is the worst. The panic attacks and anxiety is so difficult on my body. I have thought of suicide before but I could never do that because of my kids that need me here. I often have disturbing thoughts that come from nowhere and I am alone most of the day. During this time I tend to sink deeper into my depression. I feel fatigued constantly and have no motivation to do even simple things around the house. My memory has become worse in just a short time. I cannot remember things that were said to me or that I say even within an hour ago. I repeat myself a lot because I don’t remember anything or who I told. Is there any hope for someone in my situation? I feel like I suffer from so much that I have reached a point of no way out. No treatment has worked, and the meds just get me through day to day, but I still can’t go out in public even with the medicines. I need help. Please.Bipolar, TRD Depression, Severe Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety
Bipolar, TRD Depression, Severe Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety
Yes, there is a great deal of hope for you. I know you’ve been to many professionals, but it’s a matter of finding the right help. Professionals vary in their ability to help people. Some are better than others.
I often recommend calling five to 10 therapists. Be specific about the problems you would like help with and ask them how they would help you. What treatments would they use? Have they treated other people with similar problems and what were the outcomes of those cases? Those types of questions will help you to determine who would be best for you. Choose the therapist with whom you have the strongest connection and then meet with them in person. They will likely be the person who can help you the most.
Leaving your home will be necessary in order to get better. It may be something you have to force yourself to do. Mental health professionals typically do not provide treatment in the home. They require that you come to their office. Perhaps your medications could be adjusted so that you could leave your home.
Finding better treatment is possible. I believe it’s a matter of finding the right professionals. Following the aforementioned advice is a good place to start. In the meantime, start keeping a journal. Having this documentation will be a great source of insight for both you and your treating professionals. There have been a number of research studies supporting the power of writing and its ability to positively impact mental health and stability. It’s not a cure but it is psychologically clarifying, cathartic and a great stress reliever. Don’t give up trying to find help. New treatment professionals could make all the difference. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle