From the U.K.: I have no emotional attachment to anybody, everyone’s just an equal sort of meh in my mind if that makes sense. I have pets that I am like this to as well.
I also dont think I feel emotions correctly either, at the time I react properly but its not a lasting impression, Unless its anger then I rage like 10000 suns, but just in my head.
I have grown up with an older, severly, severly disabled brother that lived with me till I was around 10 then he went to a special boarding school that was a 6 hour round trip (with me having really bad travel sickness which didnt help xD) that I went to every week, and hes now been back living at home for the past 5 or so years now (he has careers that come in all day 7 till 9)
so I was wondering if that would effect me in this way considering I have had to be pushed aside for him to be looked after
also, now that I think about it my mum has always been a child minder as well so that she could work while making sure he was being looked after and only quit 2 years ago. so from 6 – 8 oclock and onwards (my bedtime) on weekdays it would of then been just me and my family. And I was also pushed aside then as well because of my mum being payed to look after them and such.
Your story is one that is shared by many siblings of chronically ill or disabled children. It does make sense that most of the parents’ care goes to the child who needs it so much. But that is small comfort to the child who feels left out or second in parental affection. Your experience of emotional neglect was also increased since your mother’s job was taking care of other people’s children. She was probably doing the best she could. But that doesn’t mean that it was enough for you.
Your challenge at this age is to both have compassion for your parents’ struggle and compassion for the little girl who was you. I think you need the support and guidance of a counselor to help you with this. After containing your feelings for so many years, you may be worried that you will be inappropriate or that you will explode if you let them out. A counselor will help you explore your emotional self and reclaim the normal range of feelings for someone your age.
I wish you well. Dr. Marie
No Emotional Attachments
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). No Emotional Attachments. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/05/04/no-emotional-attachments/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 4 May 2017) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.