The first steps for making change are acknowledging that there is a problem and feeling motivated to change. You’ve made those important steps. Now it’s time to make the next one.
If you could manage your anger on your own, you would have done so already. It’s time for you to reach out for some help. A mental health counselor will help you learn the coping skills you didn’t have the opportunity to learn as a child. With coaching and support, someone as sensitive and caring as you are will make progress very quickly.
You are right to be concerned about yourself. When a person hasn’t learned how to handle anger appropriately, it can spill out in ways that damage relationships. The good news is that you are young, you are not in denial about the problem, you are articulate, and you want to change. That all makes you an ideal candidate for making change through therapy.
Another resource for you is a forum or support group here at PsychCentral.
I wish you well,