Your exact question is unclear. It’s possible that you have a disorder, but confirming a diagnosis is impossible over the Internet. The only way to know what disorder you may have is to visit a mental professional. They will determine what’s wrong and develop a plan to fix it.
Both disorders are highly treatable with medication and counseling. Counseling is the ideal place to learn how to regulate emotions. Emotional regulation is a learnable skill. It helps us maintain stability in our daily lives.
My advice is to consult a mental health professional. They will determine if you have borderline or bipolar disorder. They will also provide advice about how to treat these disorders. In the meantime, it would be helpful to continue to document your experiences in writing. Bring that information to your first appointment. It will help your therapist clarify the problem. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle