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I Feel My Life Is Worthless and I’m Confused about Everything

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In the past 4 years I’ve felt like I was slowly drowning. I had panick attacks and couldn’t study at all in my last year in high school. I tried to talk to people but they just told me to try it harder when I was having awful days, and I just stopped searching help. Even now in university I find really hard to concentrate on anything. I’m never happy about any of my achievements and I think nothing is important in my life. I don’t think I’M important enough to live. I tried not to eat for a whole week because I wanted to disappear, to match the outside with how I’m feeling inside. I’m empty, that’s all. I realize I loved so many things that now I don’t care about: writing, reading. I’m not interested in anything anymore, I give up before I start. I give up on everything before I start because it’s not worth it.

I also think about my gender every day, and every minute of every day in my life. I feel I don’t belong anywhere in the binary, but I don’t know what I am, and since I don’t know it, I feel so angry and sad at the same time and I want just to disappear. It’s just that my days are so mentally overwhelming, still at the same time I can’t feel anything at all. I want to shut the world around me and I want everything to end, and I consider suicide every day, but I think that’s too much effort and I doubt I’ll ever do it. If I could just slowly disappear and be gone, I would do it.

When I tried to speak to my doctor I blocked, and in general I’m unable to express my thoughts and feelings without feeling a tight grip in my chest, like someone is taking all the air out of my lungs. Writing is so much easier.

I don’t know what to do, I just want everything to stop and I don’t know how. (From Italy)

I Feel My Life Is Worthless and I’m Confused about Everything

Answered by on -

A.

┬áIt is a brave thing to write and ask for help with something. You already have shown a great deal of courage just talking about these feelings. I would encourage you, since your profile says you are a first year university student, to go to the counseling center on campus. This is a huge transition time for you and these feelings sometime accompany people when they are transitioning to something new, I encourage you to make an appointment before the semester is out–and begin working through these issues.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

 

I Feel My Life Is Worthless and I’m Confused about Everything

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Feel My Life Is Worthless and I’m Confused about Everything. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/04/19/i-feel-my-life-is-worthless-and-im-confused-about-everything/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.