Since you are seeing a prescriber, I hope, I hope, you are sharing with him/her what you wrote to me. You put together an articulate history of your experiences that would be very useful to anyone who is trying to help you. It is possible that you are having adverse reactions to medication. It is possible that your diagnosis needs revising. It’s possible that something else is going on.
What you didn’t mention was whether you have been seeing a therapist as well as a prescriber. If not, it’s important that you do so. Generally, either because of insurance issues or because there simply aren’t enough doctors, prescribers can only see their patients every few months. They often don’t have the time to delve too deeply into a person’s psychology. They therefore usually prefer to be on a therapeutic team that it made up of you, a counselor and the prescriber. Working together, symptoms can be treated both medically and psychologically.
If you haven’t already done so, please talk to your prescriber about whether a referral to a talk therapist would add to your treatment plan. A mental health counselor you can see regularly is likely to help in your efforts to manage whatever it is that is giving you so much distress.
I wish you well.