From the U.S.: I am currently in therapy and I am having some issues with myself that I’m not sure if I should mention to anyone.. no one really knows who I am on here so I figured I could reveal things on here! Anyway..
I like I said am in therapy. I have been diagnosed with the less serious form of bipolar.. (can’t remember if it’s 1 or 2) I would say I am relatively “stable”. So. The things I am reluctant to mention to my therapist would be the fact that I am 100% sure I am a necrophiliac. No doubt. I mean I don’t think you need someone to diagnose that.. anyway.. to put it simply I get aroused thinking about murder.
I am not a violent person, but goodness gracious, sometimes thinking about just destroying someone helps push me over the edge in a sexual sense. I could be out doing whatever and see someone attractive, and immediately in my mind I would imagine killing them.. never as simple as suffocating.. but very violent and such. And I’m really really really not a violent person, ever, I mean I’ve never been in fights, I don’t pick fights, or anything.. other then sibling “fights” as kids that’s it..
and some days murder is all I can think about.. and it worries me. I mean it’s a half and half thing. Half enjoys it, would sit and think about it all day every day, and then there is the other half where like my conscience kicks in and obviously murder is wrong and never ever ever okay. My main point being is this something I should mention? Will the “lock”me up? Do I keep it to myself..? Any advice is welcome..Should I Mention This or Just Keep It to Myself?
By all means, talk to your therapist about this. It troubles you. It could get you into trouble. It won’t stop unless you deal with it. In fact, if you use fantasies of violence when you masturbate, you are reinforcing the very thoughts that distress you.
You say you aren’t violent, but you are in a profession related to law enforcement where you may need to deal with violence. I have to wonder if your thoughts are related to anxieties about that fact.
A therapist will not have you “locked up” for thoughts. Please do yourself a big favor and talk about this at your next appointment.
I wish you well.