It’s not so much that you were stronger then, it’s just that your mission was clear. You wanted to become the opposite of what they declared your were. I admire the grit you’ve shown — as well as the courage and persistence in correcting the issues from your family of origin. But now it’s time for a different strategy. We can only move away from something for so long before we have to start moving toward something. You have clearly demonstrated that you can be different than what your family told you, but being opposite only identifies you as not what they thought you were. It does not help define your authentic self.
It is time for you to figure out who you are and who you want to be independent of this push from your family of origin. This requires two things. The first is to find a support network to help you with this. Friends are a good place to start, but from a therapeutic point of you may find group therapy a next natural step. In group you’ll have people who will both support and challenge you in fostering your growth.
The second thing is choosing a goal that is not simply different than what your family told you. Find some part of yourself that needs to flourish and grow — and nurture that. Take some time to sample. Figuring out who you are, not just who you’re not, is the work in front of you.