Unfortunately, I can’t provide a diagnosis over the Internet. I would strongly urge you to discuss your concerns with your therapist. You are fearful of discussing your symptoms in therapy but you shouldn’t be. It seems like your therapist has helped you a great deal already. You have overcome many other problems. There’s no reason to think that she can’t help you overcome this problem too.
If your therapist knew about the voices and other experiences, she could help. You mentioned that music helps you to stay grounded in reality, but it does not work every time. Your therapist can help you develop new techniques.
You should be less concerned about a diagnosis and more concerned about ensuring that your symptoms are treated. Nothing matters more than treatment. The sooner you treat your symptoms, the more relief you will feel.
I’m impressed with your efforts and progress thus far. Have faith that your therapist can help you with this problem too. But first, you have to give her a chance to help and that begins by opening up a little more and trusting her with the truth. Good luck.
Dr. Kristina Randle