Thank you for being so open and clear with this powerful issue. Trust is the very core of any relationship and putting it at the top of your list to deal with is the right thing. The shift is to be able to trust in yourself. Once you begin this shift toward trusting you-rather than worrying about others-there is a greater sense of self -reliance, and self-control.
The way to start trusting yourself is to begin with self-acceptance. Don’t try to push the feelings of not being able to trust others away. But rather, accept a deeper truth, that you are having difficulty with this — but that you are working to correct it. There are two excellent books I would recommend. Carol Dweck’s Mindset and Karen Reivich’s The Resilience Factor. Both can help you challenge your own thoughts, which is likely to increase your self acceptance. Once you’ve tried these measures you may decide to dive a bit deeper by having some individual therapy. The find help tab at the top of this page can help you find someone near where you live.