You already know what to do, you just have to do it. If he is unwilling to get help that shouldn’t stop you from getting it. Sometimes marriages can really be helped by just one person going and by them changing their behavior. You are also then role modeling positive behaviors for both him and your kids.
I would just find a therapist you can relate to and keep encouraging him to go too. In the end, if things don’t get better you can at least say you tried everything you could. It may be that you can learn some different coping skills that will allow you to deal with him in a way that doesn’t bring you down.
It also may be the case that you come to realize that if he isn’t willing to change and try to improve himself, you will be better off without him. I’m certainly not pro-divorce, but I don’t believe we should go down with a sinking ship if we can save ourselves. You have a responsibility to yourself and your kids, not just the marriage. I wish you good luck and hope things get better.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on March 20, 2007.