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Anger at Parents

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My parents are right wing Christians who watch Fox News 24 hours a day and hate everything I stand for. They are condescending and rude. They act like my sister and I are degenerate losers who don’t know anything. I hate them. My father throws tantrums if we do not take his calls, or listen to his offensive jokes. My mother ignores the problem, but has begun to make snide remarks. Should I continue to have a relationship with them? How?

I am 43 years old with two children. My children are interracial. I have taught them to be kind and tolerant and respect the rights of others. They are wonderful, polite, and compassionate people. I was brought up by people who were very racist, xenophobic, and insulting to others. I know what is right. And their ignorance and hypocrisy are not right. I will not budge an inch on that.

Anger at Parents

Answered by on -

A.

Your parents have made it abundantly clear what they stand for, what they think of you, and how little respect they have for your needs and own development. At 43 it doesn’t sound like they have much to offer as parents, or as people you can rely on for a supportive, adult relationship. Unhooking from their barrage of insults and put-downs would seem to be the healthiest thing to do. If you were a teenager such treatment by your parents might constitute emotional abuse. There is no reason to keep exposing yourself to them now.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Anger at Parents

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Anger at Parents. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/03/18/anger-at-parents/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.