A mistake that you are making is withholding key information from the very people who could help you. If you don’t tell them the truth, they can’t help you. It is that simple.
Your withholding the truth, from the people who could help you, is another form of self-harm. As you have described, you are currently utilizing multiple methods of self-harm as a way to relieve your emotional pain. The problem with that strategy is that it doesn’t work. People who engage in self-harm often defend it by saying that it relieves stress but that relief is fleeting. If it doesn’t last, then it doesn’t work. Self-harm is never a way to improve one’s mental health.
If you truly want help and you want to feel better, then you must begin with the truth. It will be difficult but you should do it anyway. You have mental health professionals at your disposal that could help you if you told them the truth. If you continue to hide the truth, you will continue to suffer. Don’t be your own worst enemy. You must stop this self-sabotage. It is time to try a new strategy. It is the only way forward. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle