I’m so, so sorry that you have been so hurt and that there has been no adult to love and protect you as you should have been. I hope that now that you are a young adult, you will look for friends who encourage and support each other. We can’t change the past, but we can take charge of making a better present.
There are many excellent books available to help people help themselves. I suggest you go to either Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com and scroll through the self-help listings for people who struggle with the effects of childhood trauma. You will be better able to choose the book that best applies to your situation than I can. Take the time to read the reviews for each book to find out whether other people found it helpful.
You might also find it useful to join one of the forums here at PsychCentral. Go to the “Find Help” tab on the HomePage and click on “Forums and Support Groups”. People from all over the world support and encourage each other.
I wish I knew what kinds of services are available in Sudan, but I don’t. If therapy is an option, I hope you will consider seeing a counselor to give you some support as you work on moving forward in your life.
I wish you well.