I strongly suggest you get help for yourself first, then see if the marriage can be saved. I would find a good therapist and have a thorough evaluation both for counseling and medication. You are in more danger of becoming “bedridden” or too unhealthy to function by not getting help than you are by taking medications. Some medications do make you groggy until you adjust to them but most of the side effects are minimal and tolerable with the newer medications.
You have to learn how to handle your anger in healthy ways and communicate without being abusive. I can understand why you don’t trust him if he cheated on you but badgering him for the rest of his life will not fix the situation. Trust takes time to be rebuilt and it takes two people who love each other enough to do the work together. It sounds like the two of you are in a vicious cycle of anger and hurt and are striking out at each other rather than reaching toward.
Sometimes relationships have been damaged too much to repair and you are better off calling it quits and putting your energy into healing and creating a new life. You need to be honest with yourself and listen to your friends and family and do the right thing. The “right thing” thing is usually never the easy thing.
I wish you both luck.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on March 7, 2007.