As you have described yourself as a first year university student I would go to the counseling center in your university and seek counseling. Don’t look for you father’s permission to treat your own emotional needs. He doesn’t understand, and trying to get him to beyond what you’ve done sounds like it will be frustrating and ineffective. Take the matter directly into your own hands and get the help you need. As far as the relationship between smoking and depression — you may want to read this.
I Have Depression and My Dad Doesn’t Believe MeAsked by colenign on with 1 answer:
I took up smoking as a form of distraction due to my depression. My father caught me three times and I promised that I would stop all three times, but somehow, I still couldn’t stop myself. It was my way of curbing my depressive episodes and the suicidal thoughts that never cease haunting me. However, when I try to explain depression to him to make him understand depression from my angle, my father refuses to understand. He keeps telling me that other people have it far worse than I do and I should appreciate it. How do I explain to him that it is not that I’m not grateful for my life, it’s that I have this monster in me that is telling me nothing is worth it no matter how good my life is? How do I let him know that I am only smoking because I couldn’t find any other way to curb these feelings? And believe me, I have tried to stop smoking, but when the thoughts come, nothing seems to matter more than to put those thoughts to a stop no matter what. And in my case, it is by smoking. (From Malaysia)I Have Depression and My Dad Doesn’t Believe Me