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What Are Some Things to Say to My Bipolar Boyfriend?

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My boyfriend is in complete denial about his disorder. I’ve tried telling him he needs to talk to a professional but he always say he’s fine and doesn’t need help. I’m planning to write a letter to him saying goodbye since I’m moving away to another city. What are some things I should write in the letter? Are there things that a Bipolar person wants to hear (or not hear)? And how can I tell him that I want him to get help? (for the last time) (From New Zealand).

A: The only thing that would have any relevance for your soon to be ex boyfriend is an honest appraisal of your own experience with him. Explain the good parts and the difficulties, frustrations, and disappointments. Talk only about your reactions — not about what he should of shouldn’t do. Explain how his behaviors and temperament affected you. This will keep your comments on very solid ground. You are the world’s expert on your thoughts and feelings. Whether or not he is able to hear them and make changes in his life is unknown, but you can be compassionate and honest about your experience of your relationship. You have already told him he should get professional help — so I wouldn’t reiterate it in your goodbye letter. Just let him know you hope this information will be helpful to him in his relationships downstream.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. DanProof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

What Are Some Things to Say to My Bipolar Boyfriend?

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What Are Some Things to Say to My Bipolar Boyfriend?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). What Are Some Things to Say to My Bipolar Boyfriend?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 26, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/02/25/what-are-some-things-to-say-to-my-bipolar-boyfriend-2/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.