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Unintentional Relationships

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I’m Not Here For Myself. I am here for my boyfriend who has been feeling paranoid and distant lately. Question: He is denying using people to feel emotion. But he hangs out with someone—not intentionally trying to befriend them—but making the illusion of befriending. Won’t he feel something toward them and become friends? Isn’t it possible he might actually get close to someone and have a feeling toward them of trust and closeness that he didn’t expect?

Unintentional Relationships

Answered by on -


The first rule of genuine friendship and intimacy is proximity. You can’t begin to have a genuine relationship with someone you don’t have contact with. So, hanging out with someone is a good place for your boyfriend to start.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Unintentional Relationships

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Unintentional Relationships. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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