According to the Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders, “The most common causes are interpersonal problems and traumatic experiences. Traumatic experiences have been found to cause sexual aversion disorder, often of the generalized variety. Some possible traumas include rape, incest, molestation, or other forms of sexual abuse. The patient then associates intercourse with a painful experience or memory, possibly one that he or she is trying to forget. Sexual aversion disorder may also be caused by religious or cultural teachings that associate sexual activity with excessive feelings of guilt.”
Sexual aversion disorder is a treatable sexual dysfunction. You have no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed. The treatments are generally cognitive-behavioral in nature. You mention that you have no sexual abuse history but sometimes family upbringing can have an impact on our sexual development also, such as, were you able to ask questions, was sex portrayed as dirty or bad, etc.
I suggest that you talk with your psychiatrist first because she already knows you but she will most likely refer you to someone who specializes in this area. You may look for a certified sex therapist or a licensed counselor or psychologist who works with sexual dysfunctions. Just like the social anxiety you mentioned, this is very treatable and I hope you will address it soon so that it doesn’t pose an obstacle to your developing a meaningful relationship.
I’m also concerned about the self-harm behaviors and hope that you have shared this with your psychiatrist as well. Self-harm can be linked to numerous issues and causes but is generally a very dangerous coping skill that can worsen if untreated. I hope you will get help for this issue as well.
I wish you luck.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on February 18, 2007.