You do have control — at least some of the time. You are at least not being physically abusive with your girlfriend. But, as you well know, that is only the first step. You learned lots of negative ways to express anger from your father. Unfortunately, you didn’t have another strong male in your life who could teach you the positive ways to handle it.
Yes, there are positive ways to be angry. There is nothing wrong with anger as a feeling. Often our anger tells us that something needs to be fixed. But there is plenty wrong about yelling, swearing, belittling and being generally disrespectful. Those behaviors only teach other people to distance from you. Problems never get solved.
I suggest you get into either an anger management program or therapy to help you learn constructive ways to deal with anger. In addition, observe how people you respect handle their irritation, annoyance and anger. Copying good behavior is always a place to start. There are also excellent books on the subject.
And there is a forum here at PsychCentral where community members share and support each other in dealing with strong emotions. Go to the “Find Help” tab, then click on “Forums” to find the group.
All I can do is make those suggestions. If you really want to solve the problem, it is up to you to take the next step. I hope you do. The stakes are high. If you continue on the path you are on, it is likely you will end up like your father and you will hate yourself for it.
I wish you well.