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Nobody Understands What I Am Going Through

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I am a 15 year old male from Kansas that has lived a normal life except for the fact that I can’t remember the last time I was happy. There is this girl that I have been “friends” with my whole life and I started being in love with her before I even knew what love was. Everyone keeps telling me that what I am going through is completely normal and lots of people go through it, I know this but the fact remains that I have been depressed for 5 years now because I know that she couldn’t care less about me. She calls me her friend but she told me she doesn’t want me in her life. I have recently told a handful of people how I feel and I wish I could take back every word I said. I told my best friend who now thinks I am ridiculous, I told my parents who repetitively tell me to just move on, and I told the love of my life how I feel about her and she said she couldn’t care less. This has ruined my friendship, my family, and my whole life. I am a good student that makes straight A’s but I can’t focus at school because I am up till 2:00 am crying myself to sleep. I don’t eat as much, I can’t sleep, and I have randomly placed emotional breakdowns. I love my parents but I don’t think they can help, I can’t even tell them all of how I feel because I know it will hurt them too much. Just about a year ago I contemplated taking my own life, I have moved pass this and will never think that way again but I am a Christian and I still find myself praying every night for death. I don’t know what to do or where to turn. I feel worthless and unwanted, please help.

Nobody Understands What I Am Going Through

Answered by on -

A.

I can appreciate how difficult it is for so many people close to you to not understand what you are feeling. I’d like to approach this from another angle, which is a deeper question about why you have chosen to pick someone who clearly doesn’t want to be with you. The message she has given you is obvious and yet for five years you are refusing to accept that she isn’t choosing you. You remain miserable, cry yourself to sleep, aren’t eating right, have emotional breakdowns, and are surprised that the people who love you and are closest to you want you to feel better. The curious thing is that many people care about you — show their love for you by encouraging you to move on — yet you are focused on the one who “couldn’t care less.” It sounds like it is time for you to ask yourself why you aren’t accepting her decision.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Nobody Understands What I Am Going Through

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Nobody Understands What I Am Going Through. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/02/09/nobody-understands-what-i-am-going-through/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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