I can appreciate how difficult it is for so many people close to you to not understand what you are feeling. I’d like to approach this from another angle, which is a deeper question about why you have chosen to pick someone who clearly doesn’t want to be with you. The message she has given you is obvious and yet for five years you are refusing to accept that she isn’t choosing you. You remain miserable, cry yourself to sleep, aren’t eating right, have emotional breakdowns, and are surprised that the people who love you and are closest to you want you to feel better. The curious thing is that many people care about you — show their love for you by encouraging you to move on — yet you are focused on the one who “couldn’t care less.” It sounds like it is time for you to ask yourself why you aren’t accepting her decision.