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Help Figuring Out Why She Won’t Commit

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My girlfriend and I broke up for a few weeks, during this time she started sleeping with another man. However, she has slept with me several times as well. She says she loves me and wants to be with me but she. This other guy is living with her and she says they are just friends and yes they have sex, but she claims it’s just sex. Why does she want to keep hurting me? And saying she loves me and wants to be with me, yet continues to sleep with another man?

Help Figuring Out Why She Won’t Commit

Answered by on -


She isn’t hurting you — you’re hurting yourself by staying in this relationship. She is living with the other guy and sleeping with you both. You don’t have to look deeper than this. Her circumstances are as clear as can be. She isn’t committed to you. If she was, her actions would be different. Saying she loves you and wants to be with you while living and having sex with another man isn’t something that endorses her loyalty and commitment. It’s time to move on.

Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Help Figuring Out Why She Won’t Commit

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Help Figuring Out Why She Won’t Commit. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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