Negative thoughts are a scourge of the human psyche. They are common and can wreak havoc in one’s life. The good news is that they can be corrected with counseling.
Part of the problem might be your insistence on perfection. That’s not a standard that anyone can achieve. Humans are imperfect beings. It is a fact of life that perfection is not an achievable goal. People who are expecting perfection will undoubtedly experience disappointment and stress.
Researchers have indicated that people who tend toward perfectionism have a strong desire to do something well. That desire is admirable; however, the perfectionist takes things too far. They possess a deep-rooted fear of failing. The fear of making a mistake can be immobilizing. It’s possible that the anxiety and negative thoughts you have described, are directly the result of your desire for perfection.
Correcting this problem will involve altering your expectations to be more in line with reality. It will come from your realization that perfection is an unreasonable standard that you must abandon. You can learn new ways of thinking and adapting to life in counseling. Understanding reality and adapting, is the ultimate purpose of counseling.
There is no shame in consulting a professional who is trained to help people solve these types of problems. As you have experienced firsthand, thinking affects behavior. If you continue to hold yourself to impossible standards, you will continue to do things that are not in your best interest. You will suffer and nothing will change. Perfectionism is a well-known and understood problem that is easily corrected with counseling.
Finally, many people are their own worst enemies when it comes to psychological health. When they have a problem, they will often refuse to seek help because they equate the need to ask for help with personal weakness and failure. This type of thinking prevents many people from seeking treatment and thus they needlessly suffer. Don’t let that be you. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle