From a teen in Spain: So, for a long time i’ve been worried about my mental health, because i know something is not okay in me.
At first I tried researching about psychopathy, and i discovered that I fit a lot of the characteristics of a psychopath, just like lack of remorse or guilty, lie and manipulate for interest or just for fun, no hallucinations, no stress or anxiety, robing for the excitement of doing it without any consequence, quick interest lose on new things, killing or “torturing” animals as a kid, very antisocial behavior and a little of narcissistic personality, but i in fact feel some empathy, especially in similar situations to mine, but i actually feel it.
I then tried searching another illness that could fit me well, and I found pure-O OCD. I have also a lot of this illness characteristics, such as murdering thoughts, especially with knifes or similar objects or guns near, jumping off high places when near them, school shooting, torturing and sexual thoughts with people, even being in a relationship with a girl that I really really love, having to check things one time and another and another, i’m a very retailer person and very obsessed with having really small and insignificant things very well ordered.
But, again, there are things that don’t fit me, like obsession for hygiene and health, or anxiety attacks, which i haven’t have ever in my life, as i said before, and o also have some curiosity about doing some of my thoughts, excluding the ones where i harm myself or loved one (what terrifies me), the other thoughts are even attractive, and that’s what scares me.
I think i will search professional help in a near therapist in some time, but i’m not sure to tell it to my parents, and that’s why i’m here.
So, in brief, i’d like to know what could i be, considering that what it happens to me is:
– I have murdering people thoughts
– I like to draw some of that thoughts and i enjoy it
– I have all the psychopath and OCD symptoms specified before
– I’m scared but attracted at the same time of doing bad things
– I’ve never suffered of any abuse