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At Home Mom Finally Started Full Time Job

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I have been a stay at home mom for 11 years. My boys are now 12yrs old and 8 years old. I stayed home with them due to their health issues. But they are now healthy thriving smart boys.
I recently did some online courses. That helped me get a new full time job out of the home.
This is something I wanted to do. My husband makes enough to support our family. With that said.
I got this job to feel like I contribute to the household. Feel important, valued. To feel respected. To feel proud of myself. To feel like my husband is proud of me.All that has developed from this is all the opposite.I have tired to tell him how I feel. He always turns the conversation about him. So I end the conversation with no arguing. Go somewhere and cry.I will not leave this new job, I be a fool to, the pay and hours are unbelievable and very hard to find in my area. Besides the reasons I listed above about why I got this job, I also got it save money in an online account I have, so if I ever decide to leave my husband I have a good chuck of money to do so. I also learned that in divorce cases that stay at home moms don’t stand chance in our US court systems no more than they did years ago. So I am an educated women, I don’t want to made out as some poor little helpless house wife who doesn’t have two nickels to rub together.

Why the thought of leaving him? I say he cheated, he said he didn’t. This happen Aug.25, 2012. While I was still grieving of losing my younger brother who died unexpectedly on Nov.10, 2010.
With both sons health, the hubby thing, and my losing my brother these events brought me to my knees.

I do still have dark moments I want to left alone in my thoughts. I thought at age 40 was time for change. School, Lost weight, went blonde, got a job. And things be better.

So this is a start, I guess, It Not everything. I wanted to end before I ran out of room.

At Home Mom Finally Started Full Time Job

Answered by on -

A.

I applaud you making the changes in your life, but being quiet at the end of a one-side discussion only put a band-aid on the issue. Keep finding your voice and speak up when you are not being heard or validated. If you don’t, you are likely to have to work on it in the next relationship.

Individual or group therapy would be a good option for you as you move through this transition. Once you’ve begun therapy for yourself, I would ask your husband to go for a few sessions of couple therapy to help with the adjustment. Whether or not he is willing to go, you will have support for yourself to make the needed changes.

You have shown a great deal of courage in making the changes you have so far. There is more to be done. You may be growing past him.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

At Home Mom Finally Started Full Time Job

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). At Home Mom Finally Started Full Time Job. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/01/23/at-home-mom-finally-started-full-time-job/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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