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I Find It Comfortable to Be Alone But It Gives Me the Blues

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From Australia: Since I childhood, I find it rather comforting to be all alone. I don’t have many friends, and even with the few I have I feel awkward to be alone with them. I go to extreme lengths to avoid social interactions. Whenever I get a day off I stay in my home all day, and I keep assuring myself that’s what I want even though I know it’s not true.

Anytime I am forced into a social situation, I tend to be quite withdrawn to the point people don’t even know I exist. I find it hard to join in a conversation and I tend not to have any opinion. Once the whole ordeal is over and once I return back to being alone, reflecting back on the events makes me depressed. I am not sure if this is just a social phobia or more complex issue that needs addressing. What are some coping strategies that I can implement to overcome my issues?

Thank you.

I Find It Comfortable to Be Alone But It Gives Me the Blues

Answered by on -

A.

I’m not sure either. It doesn’t sound like you are by nature an introvert. You miss being comfortable around other people. You do have some friends. The fact that you describe being with others as an “ordeal” suggests an anxiety disorder. The way to find out for sure what you are dealing with is to talk with a therapist who can spend the time with you to explore the issues in detail.

As for coping strategies: Often progressive desensitization helps people with social phobia – if that is what is going on. But I caution you: Treatment should always be driven by a good diagnosis. Wonderful interventions aren’t effective if they aren’t targeting the right thing. That can result in a waste of your time and give the symptoms time to get worse. So please get yourself an evaluation before deciding what to do.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Find It Comfortable to Be Alone But It Gives Me the Blues

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Find It Comfortable to Be Alone But It Gives Me the Blues. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/01/22/i-find-it-comfortable-to-be-alone-but-it-gives-me-the-blues/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.