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Finding Home

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From a teen in the U.S.: I haven’t felt like I’ve been at home for about a year or so. It’s like to me, my own house is just a place I live in, and that there’s nothing special about it. But at the same time, I don’t want to leave. I hate moving, I’ve done it 3 times already. I know other people may have moved more than that, but still, it’s like I want to go somewhere else. I recall a week ago, I was in my house, home alone, and stressed out about homework when I suddenly screamed, “I WANT TO GO HOME!” But a second later, I realized that I was in my house. But my next thought was ‘I’m not home’. I talked to my dad about and I have a therapist I can talk to, but, I just want to know this NOW. If I can’t make myself at home in my own house, where can I?

Finding Home

Answered by on -

A.

I hope you will continue to talk to your therapist about this. I suspect the frequent moves have had more impact than you think. Yes. Other people have moved more, but you are only 13 and have already moved 3 times. I have heard the same reaction from military kids and from kids whose parents have made frequent moves due to jobs. It’s as if a part of you is already getting ready for the next move.

The first thing to do is to talk to your parents about whether this move is the last one for a while. If so, you can relax into this place. If not, then talk to your therapist about how to embrace the new experiences and new people you meet at each place. Frequent moves do often cause feelings of loss. But they can also be seen as opportunities.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Finding Home

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Finding Home. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 16, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/01/09/finding-home/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.