My boyfriend’s little sister just turned 18, and has been posting various photos of herself naked in vulnerable positions and photos of masochistic and daddy dom/little girl and other sexually explicit material on instagram and tumblr. She also has a youtube channel where she explicates that her boyfriend, “daddy” is 10 years older than her, and they have been together for almost a year meaning she was a minor when they got together. She aspires to become a make up artists and have her own business and I am fearful that this will negatively damage her reputation. I am aware that both of these behaviours are types of sexual misconduct/disorders however when she was going though various mental situations a few years ago she completely refused help. I am very conflicted about how to handle the situation because I am assuming her parents don’t know, and her brother wants nothing to do with it but I feel like they should know. I am fearful for her safety in the short term and long term as well and was wondering how I should handle this situation. Do I confront her about her posting, tell her parents, or forget about it all together. (From Canada)
A: The work is between you and your boyfriend. Keep talking to him about this difficulty of what to do. If you are hoping for a long-term relationship then talking about what to do jointly about a family member is an important conversation to continue. Talk with him about the best way to proceed — and the options. The goal here is for your relationship with your boyfriend to evolve. You want to keep that as a primary goal. It is likely that his sister is going to have to learn things on her own — and now that she is 18 there may be little her parents can do. Without you and your boyfriend being on the same page your actions may come back to hurt your relationship.
Tomasulo, D. (2016). Sexual Misconduct. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 25, 2017, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/01/05/sexual-misconduct/