I then spend hours and sometimes days dissecting my words coming to the conclusion that maybe Im better off staying at home and reading? Example 1: Man comes to sell daughter vacuum yesterday and we take a break to go outside and have a cigarette. daughter stays in house with baby. i tell him about my other children and their trials, express how rankled i am that my daughter cant make this decision alone. tell him thats why i never stayed married for long. Private, socially inappropriate confidences that never get checked in my mind before uttering. — THis is not an isolated or untypical event. I embarrass family on a regular basis. I berate myself for days afterward. Definitely old enough to have learned to control my tongue, but hasnt congealed yet. Thought about hypnosis to control myself but then admonish myself saying that Im smart and can do better. What is wrong with me?

A. You provided one example but I would need others to determine if it’s a problem. Even if you are guilty of over-disclosure, it does not warrant your harsh self-judgment; it is a very correctable problem.

Generally speaking, you want to be cautious about what you disclose to others because that information can (and will likely) be used against you. It can make you vulnerable to people looking to exploit your vulnerabilities. Too much self-disclosure can also make people feel uncomfortable.

Alternatively, sharing personal information can be a good way to connect with others. It can make you seem friendly, trustworthy and open-minded. However, disclosing too much will have exactly the opposite effect. It will drive people away.

Hypnosis would not help with this problem. Counseling is the solution. It could help you learn how to properly interact with people, should it be determined that correction is necessary. In counseling, you can examine the pros and cons of sharing personal information, how and when to do it judiciously and how to protect yourself against social predators. A good therapist can teach you these social skills. Good luck and please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle