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I Am Repulsed by Men Who Show Interest in Me Because of Years of Sexual Harassment

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I developed DD breasts at age twelve, they’ve grown to a G at age 22 and since age 12 men of all ages have frequently and regularly approached me to talk about my breasts and generally hit on me. I get cat-called constantly, men in clubs always try to dance with me inappropriately and I have been sexually assaulted. I had one three year relationship that ended badly.

I cannot date. Every time a guy shows interest I just shut down and can’t help but assume he is creepy and only interested in me because of what I look like. I feel panicked and trapped if I guy touches me, even casually (probably from the sexual assault). I know it’s illogical and I know that not all men are creepy, I have lots of male friends and I am fine when they are a friend but if they seem to be/want any more than that, I panic.

What kind of strategies could I use to get around this? I want to date again, I’ve been alone for such a long time.

I Am Repulsed by Men Who Show Interest in Me Because of Years of Sexual Harassment

Answered by on -

A.

 At the core of this is the sexual assault, which I believe should be dealt with by a professional. I would highly recommend therapy with a woman who specializes in treating survivors of sexual assault. This would allow you a safe environment to talk about your reaction and work with the therapist in cultivating ways to respond differently to men who show genuine interest in you. You can also develop techniques for responding to unwanted and inappropriate advances.

Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Am Repulsed by Men Who Show Interest in Me Because of Years of Sexual Harassment

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Am Repulsed by Men Who Show Interest in Me Because of Years of Sexual Harassment. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/12/23/i-am-repulsed-by-men-who-show-interest-in-me-because-of-years-of-sexual-harassment/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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