You mentioned that when he is pushed he is resistant but “… with patience and when he is not being pushed…” he is easier going. Perhaps that is your answer. Being patient with him seems to work. The more patient you and your family are with him the easier it will be to care for him.
I would encourage you to consult with specialists who treat elderly populations. This includes psychiatrists and other medical and mental health professionals. You can consult them on your own or with yourfather-in-law (if he’s willing).
Because part of the problem is that your father-in-law behaves differently in front of certain people, you might consider videotaping his behavior. You should also keep a written record of the behavior that concerns you. Having this type of information could help the evaluators identify what may be wrong with him.
If it continues to be difficult to care for him, you might need extra help. There are many services he may be eligible for, including home healthcare and other related nursing services. Check with the insurance company or his primary care doctor to determine if home healthcare could assist you and your family in caring for yourfather-in-law . I hope this helps. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle