You have expressed three main cognitive errors that may be contributing to your distress. I will describe them below.
The first cognitive error is that you should not be depressed because you have material wealth. The implication is that wealth should make you happy. Of course you should appreciate your good fortune and your blessings but wealth does not equal happiness. Study after study shows that to be true.
There is no roadmap in life; for any of us. Many people feel lost. Each of us, rich or poor, has to find our own path. It’s easy to get off track and to become depressed, especially when lacking guidance and a strong mentor. Counseling could provide you with the necessary guidance and mentorship.
Depression is often the result of a lack of purpose in one’s life. In order to be happy we have to find meaning in life. That’s an overly simplistic view of depression but without that key element, many people, no matter their socioeconomic status, feel empty, sad and alone. The good news is that depression is a highly treatable condition.
The second cognitive error expressed in your question, is that everyone is in a relationship except for you. I believe that what you meant is that everyone else is happy except for you. That is a fallacy. People who are depressed often think that everyone is better off than they are. They are intimately familiar with their own pain and suffering but they do not perceive the pain and suffering of others. That’s largely because people don’t generally express their negative emotions in public or even to close friends. They think it will make them seem less likeable, less cool, and more needy. They suffer alone, in isolation, where there are no witnesses. Even though you can’t feel it or see it, many people are suffering. Life is challenging for most everyone.
The third cognitive error is that you should be able to solve your own problems. You didn’t say that directly but you implied it when you wrote that you have tried to help yourself and it has not worked. The disappointment has led you to feel like you have failed. That is common thinking about mental health.
People don’t believe that they should be able to treat their own physical health problems yet it’s common for them to think that they should be able to treat their own mental health problems. Mental health professionals undergo years of rigorous training to learn how to treat mental health problems. These are learned skills. You shouldn’t expect to be able to solve your own problems. No one should.
When you know that something is wrong, you should ask for help. You could greatly benefit from counseling. Counseling is an effective treatment for depression and many other emotional problems. Medication might also be helpful. I urge you to ask your parents to assist you in seeking treatment. That would be the right thing to do. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle