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My Brain Automatically Thinks Mean Things about Others

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I don’t think this is a major problem but at random when I look at someone or look at a picture my brain automatically comments on something about them. If I am looking at a woman that is obese my brain will think “Wow she is so fat, she should start going work out” or something along those lines and then I think to myself that what I just thought was really mean. Do i have a condition that I am unaware of or is this normal. This doesn’t happen with everyone I meet but it just randomly happens even when i’m with my friends sometimes I a mean comment pops up and it surprises me. I don’t have any tragic/traumatic past but when I was a kid and even now I have trouble going to sleep because I am always afraid of something fictional. Like when I was younger I was very afraid of Dracula coming into my room and sucking my blood so i would sleep facing up, without my neck showing. Or anytime I closed my eyes I would imagine something from a horror film and couldn’t go to sleep. Also my parents spanked me with a clothe hanger when I was younger, but not very often only when I was misbehaving. I don’t think my past has anything to do with it and was just curious if I had a condition. Thanks in advance.

My Brain Automatically Thinks Mean Things about Others

Answered by on -


Thank you for your question. I think both parts of your reaction — the mean part and the part that questions it — are well within the normal range of thought. The fact that you are noticing it is good as it will give you an opportunity to correct unwanted reactions and biases.

My Brain Automatically Thinks Mean Things about Others

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Brain Automatically Thinks Mean Things about Others. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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