I’m not sure what you are asking. It seems as though you are asking whether or not you are sociopath. Compulsive lying is a trait associated with sociopathy but there are others as well. You mentioned having a “different view of the world” but did not elaborate about what you meant. I would need more information about your potential symptoms to determine if “sociopath” is an appropriate characterization of your behavior.
For instance, you described yourself as an outcast. The term outcast is relative and what it means depends on how you define it. You also mentioned never wanting to be “normal.” Normal is also a relative term that requires a definition. To be able to answer your questions, I would need to know how you define those aforementioned terms.
You described yourself as never learning from punishment, but maybe that is because the punishment was ineffective. In other words, it may not have been the appropriate punishment for your behavior. Again, I would need more information about your use of certain terms to know if sociopathy is a problem.
Your ideas about society determining an individual’s personality are not necessarily consistent with research. The society and culture in which one lives impacts how an individual views themselves and to some extent shapes their behavior but personality is thought, by some scientists, to be present at birth.
Developmentally, how an individual thinks about themselves is determined by how they think people in society view them (known as the looking glass self theory) but at some point, an individual’s sense of identity should be self-determined. Abraham Maslow refers to this stage of human development as self-actualization. Self-actualizing people are no longer reliant upon the opinions of others when constructing their identities. Their identities are entirely self-determined. You might want to read more about self-actualization and Abraham Maslow to understand the nature of healthy psychological growth and development.
The bottom line is this: it’s not desirable to lie or to want to be a sociopath. Sociopaths are not good people. They are not the kind of people that anyone should aspire to be like. If you continue to struggle with these issues, consult mental health professionals. They can determine if sociopathy is a problem for you and if so, design a treatment plan to positively alter your course in life. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle