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Need Help with My Therapist Won’t Acknowledge Orientation

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This might be a weird question but I’m having trouble with my therapist, I consider myself homosexual though never had relationships due to anxiety, depression and my religious family, its a bit complicated but I’m in treatment since a year and have been progressing despite many complications, I have gone to many therapists/psychiatrists and recently was recommended to someone who has experience with families, I cant talk about him because he says I cant possibly know if I’m Gay because I never had sexual relationships and that every person is homosexual inside, that was my choice and people express their homosexuality in different ways. I told him I have been trying to accept myself only recently and that cost a lot of work but he insists.

I felt I have been like this my whole life but he has been questioning me and I feel confused by his answers, is this a common response to someone who says they are a sexual orientation? That every person has the capacity to develop feelings for he or she same sex but they simply don’t choose to? Is it a choice?

Thank You. (From Mexico)

Need Help with My Therapist Won’t Acknowledge Orientation

Answered by on -


I’d talk to your current therapist about how this is making you feel. This is a very important discussion as it it is part of the process that may be helpful. If you find you are not being received well it may be time for a second opinion concerning your treatment. I’d look for a qualified therapist familiar with gay issues.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Need Help with My Therapist Won’t Acknowledge Orientation

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Need Help with My Therapist Won’t Acknowledge Orientation. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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