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I Can’t Hold on to Love

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From a teen in Canada: So i’ve been dating this guy for about two and half months now and we’re so in sync with each other it’s scary. But he vanishes on me a lot. Now, i’m used to being the person who runs away from situations but now that somebody else has done it first, I feel hopeless and scorned. I stalk him on facebook and see that he’s online, but he won’t reply to my texts. I hate feeling this way. It happens all time: whenever i met someone I fall hard and then I feel anxious and pull back, but I really like this guy.

In the back of my mind i know that it can’t work out, he does drugs a lot, and he’s about 5 years older than me, but I want to see past that.

What should I do? Any advice?

I Can’t Hold on to Love

Answered by on -

A.

You don’t need my advice. You need to listen to the “back of your mind.” Don’t waste your love or your time on this guy. He’s just not that into you.

I do suggest that you see a therapist to work on your own pattern of flight from love and your attraction to someone who flees from you. Anxiety is not a good basis for making decisions about who to love.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Can’t Hold on to Love

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Can’t Hold on to Love. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/10/30/i-cant-hold-on-to-love/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.