I admire the cautious approach and the fact that you don’t want to end up with another man with narcissistic traits. However, the anger, jealousy, and verbal abuse create a similar dynamic for you. Your emotional well-being is in orbit around him. Rather than see these problems coming his own insecurities and inability to self-regulate his emotions, he is pointing at your actions as a cause.
The fact that these conflicts are emerging regularly with others is important. It sounds more like a characterlogical issue with him than something you keep doing wrong. Also- the blackouts from his anger would suggest he gets overwhelmed by his emotions. When you put these issues together it sounds clear that he has an anger management issue.
Typically, this isn’t something you’ll want to treat in couple therapy. This is an issue he will have to deal with on his own. I’d recommend a support group for you (there are many in your area) to help you set limits with him. There are a number of anger management groups as well as individuals in your area who specialize in helping men control their abuse.
I’d look for a support group for yourself first — most likely through a woman’s center. Then I would use that support to help you explain to him that his behavior has become unacceptable and that he needs to work on it in therapy if the relationship is going to continue. My concern is that these issues are not likely to get better on their own — and over time may continue to get worse.